pick a color.

okay.

so here's the problem. if i stopped buying nail polish i'd probably save uku billions.

but there's something about painting my own nails. it's a form of self expression.

 

it's a form of art.

 i may have 5 different shades of blue but each shade represents something different within me. 

a river and an ocean. mystery and joy.

$2.99/$0.42= 7.12 oz

i often have cravings for cool, creamy treats, more so when I've had an especially long day and feel the need to reward myself. sometimes I think I purposely make my day seem hard just so I can justify my walk over to yogurtland. as I fill my cup with the dreamy decadent yogurt flavors I have to remember portion control, since the "serving" size is 1 oz. I fill my cup with half of what I would normally have. they currently have my newfound favorite flavors, chocolate mint cookie and key lime pie tart- fat free and all. I top it off with a little scoop of fresh strawberries, sweetened coconut flakes, and mac nuts. perfect. I put it on the scale and my total comes out to $2.99, which previously would be around $5.99.

as I eat my yogurt I hastily calculate my portion on my iPhone. ok, so $2.99 divided by $0.42 equals 7.12 ounces. then I go to the YL website to look for the nutrition content.

you should see my notes, absolutely makes no sense, (and yes I came up with correct calculations), a bit obsessive but necessary

after I calculate how much fat/carbs/fiber/protein I consume, I then have to convert it to ww points with the point calculator, which roughly amounts to a 7 point treat (including toppings). gee after all that measuring and calculating it still adds up to that many points?!!? still, I was going to eat it anyway, just more mindfully knowing what i was consuming. it was points well worth it, after all, my day was dreadful :)

still shrinking (yay) keeping the positive vibes up stronggg

"i'm a druuuunk japa-neeeee!"

so blessed to have friends. soaked up some midday hilo sun as i rode my bike to cafe pesto to meet up with gayle and jason for some epic grub, shrimp nachos and blue ceasar salad, ohhh yeah. recapped a fun drunkfest last night, and how my boyfriend (who rarely drinks more than one beer) took two shots of jager and draaaank who knows how many beers (i can't imagine it being more than 3). "i'm a druuuunk japa-neeeee!" he sang into the mic.

so lately my life has been full of inspirations and ideas, never before have i set more goals for myself. the usual, save money, lose weight, make art.

saving money is hard! any tips would be appreciated. i'm sure it's stuff i already know. was it necessary to spend $28.00 on lunch? i don't need that bottle of nail polish from longs. those trendy earrings in claires. do i really need another yard of fabric when i have like 20 untouched yards at home? ugh.

week 2 on weight watchers and i've lost 7.2 lbs! it's the most i've ever lost since i've attempted dieting. i tried counting calories but would lose track and give up easily. i tried exercising but the foods i was eating made me feel sluggish and lazy. i can't believe i used to POUND a whole big mac extra value meal and still be able to eat ice cream after. on weight watchers my appetite has noticeably changed, i get seriously full after eating half my meal- and that easily turns a 12 point fatty meal into a 6 point meal. i also have so much more energy to exercise and do chores. i can't express how stoked i am, but i can say that i am that much more focused on regaining that skinny manini body (ok, i was never skinny manini but i'd like to be).

and sewing! creating brings pure joy. making something out of nothing makes me feel like a genius!

"aint about how fast i get there. aint about what's waiting on the other side. it's the climb"~miley cyrus

collabo

i love this in the worst way

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dribble bibs and taggie blankies

dribble bibs and taggie blankies. ahh the simple joy. my favorite part is seeing the results of my inspirations. i am forever blessed to be able to create. baby squid by squidink

one week

yay it's Monday! never thought I'd be cheering on Monday but today it represents the completion of one full week of ww. (okay honestly it happened yesterday but um, I wasn't in a blogging mood). so here's my list of accomplishments last week::

- i did not eat a single dinner roll saturated in a heaping tablespoon of whipped butter

- nor did I eat fast food

- I started a turbo fire workout regimen- I really think it's an effective way of working out, I feel the burn in every muscle

- i've tripled my intake on fruits and veggies

- I've lost 3 pound in one week!! wooohooo bells and whistles chee!!

at this rate of success I should be seeing results in four months! seems like a long road ahead but I'm trekking on... 4 months is nothing compared to the five years it took to put on all this weight

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umm

i am trying to publish my blogs on this app and it says website does not exist, WTF

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it's actually day 6

I lost track of my days! it's actually day 6 on ww. must be because I started on a saturday, which also happened to be an indulgent weekend- sushi fest on Saturday and mothers day brunch on Sunday! I didn't officially start watching my food consumption until Monday.

so yesterday (day 5) I exhausted the rest of my extra weekly points- i kind of had to, it was the rare opportunity to have dinner with my family at seaside restaurant! a calamari strip, a couple bites of poke, shutome with lobster mushroom cream sauce, extra veggies (sans starch) 2 glasses of wine (twist my arm), and a couple bites of 1,000 calorie bread pudding sent me way over my daily and zeroed out my weekly. yipes.

i did put in some excercise time, so I gained activity points-yay! 45 minutes of zumba on Tuesday. and last night I forced myself do 20 minutes of "sculpting" with weights from a workout video that was collecting dust. it was compensation for that guilty feeling I had after having that second glass of 4 pt. pinot noir.

I made it my goal to stay well within my daily point allowance. so far so good. that same chocolate craving that hits me once a day hit me again today, so I walked over to safeway and bought me a box of snackwells devils food cake cookie cakes. one will totally satisfy the craving. and the best part about it is that it's just 1 point!

Bryce said ww is making me moody. like scary grouchy. hope it's just a phase.

and I hope these cramps ease up, I dont think my intestines are used to what's coming down.

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flabbergast

i hate looking at my side profile in the mirror and seeing that pouch of flab hanging over the top my jeans, pushing the button part down. just reminding myself why I'm doing this.

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excess waste

day 4.

my hurdle comes at lunchtime when all of these available options come knocking over door. suisan sells these amazing poke bowls for like $5. ahi poke is a miniscule 2 pts on this program. but I always get my poke with butter garlic shrimp. butter garlic shrimp could easily be 4 points at the smallest 3 oz serving. i could do without it. but it wouldn't be the same. then again, i'm trying not to be the same, right? ugh. today I'm going to have both, because that's what I already decided. next time, i won't. I really have to train myself to not want everything on the menu. the excess. I'll probably be suffering by Saturday, but hey, I'll manage-I have not failed yet! (and I won't)

on another note,

i dont know how people can fast, for like a week long! i have a friend who fasts regularly to clean her system, and she says it's mind over matter. that would be my next goal, to do a fast, because I really believe that it helps rid the system of excess waste.

it should be a daily ritual, to shed excess waste from our everyday lives. the bullshit. :)

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day 3.

whaaaaat!? only 3 days have gone by?

since I stared this weight watchers free 7-day trial, I have definitely been more mindful about the foods I consume. so far, even only on day 3, the results have been a positive outcome. I may not look slimmer, but I feel slimmer. I also have been so much more energetic, constantly moving around the house and workplace looking for things to keep me busy rather than be preoccupied with food.

I have been eating smaller, healthier meals, for example today I had:

breakfast: 1 scrambled egg with a salsa made with tomatoes, onions, bellpeppers, and cilantro wrapped in a wheat tortilla, 12 oz oj, and a 12 oz coffee with 2 tsp. creamer. (previously coffee and a bagel with cream cheese)

snack: grapes and carrots with light mayo/shoyu dip (previously a snickers bar and a soda)

lunch: 2 oz of leftover steak, a quarter cup of sauteed onions, 5 asparagus spears, and a cup of salad with a touch of feta and light ranch dressing. this filled me up and satisfied me for only 6 points! (previously MCD's extra value meal, Large)

and for dinner I'm going to have a 5 pt. lean pocket probably with a side of carrots. (previously 2 servings of spaghetti with half a loaf of mama bella garlic bread)

I love that most fruits and veggies have 0 pts!

since I started eating this way I have been far less sluggish at work. I do find that although my energy levels are high my endurance is not. I went to a zumba class last night and as my mind told me to push harder my body would resist. I almost fell from lack of mind-body coordination. I have to figure out a solution to able to keep up with my workouts.

and when the cravings for chocolate or shrimp drenched in butter garlic hit at about 2 p.m., I google "motivational quotes" and the cravings disappear as I read on.

"there are only two choices: make progress or make excuses"

I have only been on this program for 3 days. only my self determination can help me. that and observing how my skinny friends eat. (have you noticed how they take two bites of something and they're full? but it's two bites of an appetizer, two bites of their entree, and two bites of dessert. hey, maybe I should start something called "The Two Bite Diet")

I want to be a skinny girl. not to fit in. but to fit in .. my bikini. :)

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good riddance,

It seems as though i've been struggling with weight issues since i was 17. I weighed in at an ideal 120lbs, and back then I wanted to lose 5 lbs. In my mid 20's i hit 130 lbs, and i thought 10 lbs would be easy to lose. That thought backfired as I rapidly packed on on another 10 lbs.

As i aged i became tired of the bland foods that would satisfy me, like a grilled cheese sandwich or a bowl of cereal. i started adding extra butter and cheese to my grilled cheese. bacon, eggs, and rice would accompany my bowl of cereal. i gained a development in taste for rich cuisine. my craving for buttery-sugary-salty-creamy foods began to manifest. this is also when i discovered that the healthy weight "range" for my petite 4'11" frame was 115-125 lbs, but the comfort and yummy satisfaction that these foods brought to my being made me ignore that statistic.. i ignored the fact that what i kept putting in my mouth was turning me into a lazy over-indulgent hippo.

i lost the metabolism i needed to work out. i started developing pains in my feet which gave me excuses to prohibit me from exercising. i became lazy, only getting up and moving about to get some food. i'd help myself to a scoop of ice cream. pop open a soda. bake cookies. go to the grocery store to fill up my pantry with chocolate chips and marshmallows and brownie mix, "just in case" i wanted something sweet. at work, i constantly put food in my mouth out of boredom. candy bars. chips. dinner roll with a heaping tablespoon of butter. clam chowder.

at restaurants, i'd order extra sour cream. extra butter-garlic sauce. add mayo to my burgers. i started super sizing at fast food restaurants for the giant soda, and would add a dessert for later to my order. my everyday "tall" mocha from starbucks turned into a everyday "venti-triple-raspberry-mocha-with-whipped-cream and a chocolate croissant". It's like I was trying my damnest to put on weight.

now in my early 30's i've decided to try weight watchers, the one program where I've witnessed friends and aquaintences transform, and i know this is a challenge of a lifetime. as i weigh in at a whopping 160 lbs i am more determined than ever to drop the 40-50 lbs. i've gained in the past 5 years.


i'm not sure how these bad habits developed and why i gave so much glory to these fat-saturated-sugary foods of the devil. but i am sure that i need to refocus my thinking and eating habits so that i may live a healthier more active lifestyle.

plus i'd rather not face the embarassment of having my pants rip in the crotch mid-squat again.

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